I have realized this morning how brittle our lives can be. In a very strange and bizarre way, I have seen that life is indeed a wave of chaos which we might never fully contemplate its inner fabric.
It was a beautiful morning that promised a bright colorful day, full of hope and remnants of yesterday’s joy. The rain was on temporary leave but we were all sure it will return sooner rather than later.
My cheerful young morning was not ruined, however, by the sudden weight of the blows of life on to my face. Nor was it ruined by the painful echoes of insult to my soul. On the contrary, it was the absence of those!
On a daily, we have those people with whom we interact often. Slowly by slowly we get so much comfortable with them; and start undermining their efforts and importance in our lives.
We tend to get angry at them so quickly, be unfair to them in many ways; thereby, not intentionally though, develop a deep willingness to let them go.
This morning I realized that it is this bitterness and chaos that is caused by those close to us that makes us feel really alive. And a lack of it thereby, creates a big hole in our so fragile hearts.
In reality, no one is perfect and neither are our loved ones. A famous philosopher once put it that, “all humans are fools”.
I have come to understand that this bitterness we develop, comes from our deep fears of being left lonely and dejected. That’s why we are more strict to those that claim to like us. We are not quite convinced that they won’t leave us.
So my friend, forgive my careless soul. For the truth is, I dearly miss you. I miss your jokes about me. I miss your criticism of me. I miss your unfair judgement and recklessness with me. In short, I miss being alive!